![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jun. 24th, 2008 08:09 pmI'm way, way behind on all my reviews, having been sick in bed and reading a lot for two weeks. But here's a start:
A number of my friends with four-year-olds and close to fours have been complaining of resurgent tantrums, worse than two, resistant to the usual disciplinary techniques. Of course, librarian that I am, I turn to books. This one was recommended by a friend with a very difficult child.
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: the 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation by Becky A. Bailey Real discipline needs to start with the parents, and start with love. Bailey starts by going over seven key “Powers for Self-Control” that are then applied to the seven discipline skills. For example, one of the seven powers is “Attention: What you focus on, you get more of.” Applied to discipline, therefore, you need to focus on how you want your child to behave, not what he or she is doing wrong, and be assertive about it. Although she’s absolutely right that parents need to look at their own behavior first, I found this first section a little condescending, as well as high on the touchy-feely to content ratio. If you’re short on time, read the headlines and bullets in this section and save full reading for the meatier section later on where she dissects typical problems and how to address them. She divides difficulties into adult and child-based problems – areas where your child isn’t doing what you want, versus where you aren’t doing what your child wants. She has helpful advice on effective praise (an area where I’m always looking for help, since so much typical praise, such as “Good boy” and “Good job” has been shown to be counterproductive. ) Very helpful are the fill-in-the blank conversations that occur throughout the book, as well as a good-sized section of anecdotes by problem to help you review. She also provides a seven-week program, where you focus on one or two skills a week and build up. This is a lot of practical and well-researched parenting help.
( Here are some key ideas... )
A number of my friends with four-year-olds and close to fours have been complaining of resurgent tantrums, worse than two, resistant to the usual disciplinary techniques. Of course, librarian that I am, I turn to books. This one was recommended by a friend with a very difficult child.
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: the 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation by Becky A. Bailey Real discipline needs to start with the parents, and start with love. Bailey starts by going over seven key “Powers for Self-Control” that are then applied to the seven discipline skills. For example, one of the seven powers is “Attention: What you focus on, you get more of.” Applied to discipline, therefore, you need to focus on how you want your child to behave, not what he or she is doing wrong, and be assertive about it. Although she’s absolutely right that parents need to look at their own behavior first, I found this first section a little condescending, as well as high on the touchy-feely to content ratio. If you’re short on time, read the headlines and bullets in this section and save full reading for the meatier section later on where she dissects typical problems and how to address them. She divides difficulties into adult and child-based problems – areas where your child isn’t doing what you want, versus where you aren’t doing what your child wants. She has helpful advice on effective praise (an area where I’m always looking for help, since so much typical praise, such as “Good boy” and “Good job” has been shown to be counterproductive. ) Very helpful are the fill-in-the blank conversations that occur throughout the book, as well as a good-sized section of anecdotes by problem to help you review. She also provides a seven-week program, where you focus on one or two skills a week and build up. This is a lot of practical and well-researched parenting help. ( Here are some key ideas... )
