Subversive Parenting - part one

[library_mama]

I recently read a most excellent parenting book, Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. I have a full review started at work, but the book is here, and I wanted to post some of the quotes he included.

"Author Barbara Coloroso remarks that she's often heard parents of teenagers complain, "He was such a good kid, so well behaved, so well mannered, so well dressed. Now look at him!" To this, she replies:
From the time he was young, he dressed the way you told him to dress; he acted the way you told him to act; he said the things you told him to say. He's been listening to somebody else tell him what to do....He hasn't changed. He is still listening to somebody else tell him what to do. The problem is, it isn't you anymore; it's his peers."

This one from Alice Miller:
"Many people continue to pass on the cruel deeds and attitudes to which they were subjected as children, so that they can continue to idealize their parents."

My comment: no kidding, because facing up to what your parents did to you hurts. Lucky me, to have so many friends willing to work through the suckiness to try to be better parents themselves.

Hopefully more on Friday...

Thank God my sister is safe.

Comments

[garrity.livejournal.com]

With a chorus of hosannahs, honey. XO.

[arovd.livejournal.com]

"Author Barbara Coloroso remarks that she's often heard parents of teenagers complain, "He was such a good kid, so well behaved, so well mannered, so well dressed. Now look at him!" To this, she replies:
From the time he was young, he dressed the way you told him to dress; he acted the way you told him to act; he said the things you told him to say. He's been listening to somebody else tell him what to do....He hasn't changed. He is still listening to somebody else tell him what to do. The problem is, it isn't you anymore; it's his peers."

wow, that is frickin' brilliantly insightful! an explanation for the phenomenon i witnessed in most of my friends - the good kid gone bad.

Note to masses: CRITICAL THINKING, PEOPLE! Really, try it sometime.

[parslaanna.livejournal.com]

Thank God my sister is safe.

**hugs**