Thank you for sharing your experiences with this, Elaine. I really appreciate your thoughts. Many of the books I have read, for what it's worth, would have no problem with you explaining things multiple ways different times, saying that kids need time to learn. I think that one of my basic complaints with the book is that its only goal seems to be obedience. If obedience is the goal, then it probably would work. I want a system, or thinking, that's looking to instill empathy (and critical thinking), as well as obedience, because without empathy, the obedience is only there as long as the threat of punishment is real. Of course, you can use other methods to develop values as well as obedience. I also don't like that it puts all the burden for good behavior on the kids - in all the discussions of kids whining for unhealthy pre-suppertime snacks, for example, he never suggests giving the kids a snack earlier, setting out healthy appetizers, or not keeping junk food in the house in the first place.

But I have read enough Alfie Kohn to be distrustful of behaviorist discipline methods in general. "Unconditional Parenting" was the book I read; there's good shorter articles on-line at http://www.alfiekohn.com/articles.htm . The "Atrocious Advice from 'Supernanny,'" and "Five Reasons to Stop Saying 'Good Job!'" are particularly applicable.